No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Randomize
