"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
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