I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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