last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Randomize
