I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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