Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
