help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
