haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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