brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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