rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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