Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
