When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
