When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
