Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
