Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Randomize
