well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
