life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
