Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Randomize
