i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I had to cum in my sink.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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