i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
