Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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