he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
