Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Randomize
