So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
