What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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