I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
