I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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