Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
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