Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
