We're like a lot better than the average bears
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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