I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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