So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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