Who did Billy Mays play for?
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I wish you could order shots online.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
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