May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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