I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Welp...herpes.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
i used baking grease as lip gloss
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
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