He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I need help removing her.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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