ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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