last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
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