Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
