You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
My first STD was from a foam party
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize