Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
