i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
