I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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