Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(613): View more from Ontario

I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.

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(908): View more from New Jersey

i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision

Fav 12 7137 1467
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(509): View more from Washington

Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.

Fav 10 6004 1995
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(774): View more from Massachusetts

It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.

Fav 11 1949 3104
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(703): View more from Virginia

..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making

Fav 10 3743 1264
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(214): View more from Texas

Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?

Fav 9 1768 1170
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(630): View more from Illinois

I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.

Fav 11 3350 1043
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(909): View more from California

Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing

Fav 0 89 75
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(732): View more from New Jersey

Dude... this pee is not alleged

(774): View more from Massachusetts

YOU SAT ON MY LAP!

(732): View more from New Jersey

Wuddup pee lap

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