I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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