I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
