Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize