bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
