They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
