The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
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