you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
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