It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
false alarm, still single
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
