he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
