Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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